Every night as I wind down for bed, I have millions of last minute thoughts and feelings run through my head. I'm overjoyed, thankful, loved, and depressed! Not a common mix of emotions to have.. but nonetheless they are mine.
I want to cry out everything I feel as I fall asleep holding my beautiful babies. I want to scream out "Thank you Lord, for this day that we had. Thank you for letting me have these healthy beautiful miracles that I don't deserve." I want to cry out to my children that they are loved, so they never forget it. I want to just cry my eyes out because I am so overjoyed with my life and my family.. that I haven't found another way to express it. Lastly, I want to mourn for the loss of yet another day, because when God graciously allows my children and I to awake the next day, I know I am getting one day closer to loosing my babies... and to gaining my beautiful young daughters. Even as I write this, I cant help but feel a huge lot of mixed emotions.. I used to laugh at my mom, because she would cry at movies and when she was happy. Now I cant even fall asleep at night holding my babies without welling up, whether it be for happiness or sadness. I have become a mushy-love stricken-overjoyed Momma.. and you know what. Its not so bad!
Hug your babies and hold on tight, Before you know it they wont be little anymore.
